Reactions
by DrKCooper
Summary: Post summer season finale (4x12). Each chapter will represent a different way Maura and Jane deal with the Casey proposal. Mostly because I can't decide for myself how I would rather the episode have ended. Begins with K rating; M rating for Chapter 6 & 7.
1. Reactions: Silent Dialogue

_Disclaimer: All recognizable Rizzoli & Isles characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to Tess Gerritsen and Janet Tamaro. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended._

Author's Note: The season four summer finale has already garnered many fics, as it should, but in my own mind, I find myself struggling to pinpoint the exact way I would have Maura react to the ultimatum Casey gave Jane. So, instead of a stand-alone piece that answers all of the questions I have about that absurd proposal, I've decided to approach it with the door open for various endings. Each chapter will represent a different way Maura and Jane deal with the Casey proposal. If you find I am not writing a scene that you hoped to see, shoot me a DM or leave a review and I'll consider writing a chapter/reaction to meet your suggestion. Will begin at K, will certainly end with M rating.

As for the first chapter, it is no surprise to my regular readers that I write dialogue. In fact, I love dialogue. But over time, I have realized that I can use it as a crutch. I've never written a Rizzles piece that is without dialogue between these two characters and I've decided it is long past time. Dialogue will return in the next chapter. –dkc

**Reactions**

**Chapter One – Silent Dialogue**

Maura Isles entered the Dirty Robber in a blue silk blouse, tailored black, pinstriped slacks and her newest Manolo Blahnik stilettos. Jane Rizzoli found her eyes precariously glued to the medical examiner as she sashayed into their favorite bar. Surely the detective's eyes were not the only pair on the doctor as she made her way to the table. There were few women who looked as beautiful as Maura and nearly every man and woman in the bar noticed this as the doctor walked to their regular table.

Reaching the booth, Jane's eyes met Maura's, both women smiling. The table laughed at Korsak's obliviousness to some new school pop culture reference Frost was making. Jane's laugh wasn't as sincere as it could have been. She had her eyes and mind strictly on Maura.

Frost immediately stood and took Maura's drink order, hustling over the bar to attain her standard glass of red wine. Korsak moved over in the booth so the doctor could sit next to him. Though Jane was alone on her side of the booth, she tried to hide any disappointment from reaching her features that her friend was sitting on the other side of the booth. Jane had hoped she and Maura would get the chance to talk after they left the assisted living facility, but Maura had dropped Casey and Jane off at Jane's condo, making an excuse that she had errands to run. Jane noticed the blotchiness on her friend's neck as she waved and put the car in gear to drive away. It was unlike Maura to lie to Jane, but then again, it was unlike Jane to be considering a marriage proposal.

Jane took a moment to analyze her friend, as she couldn't pinpoint precisely why she had wanted Maura next to her, rather than across from her. She quickly realized that having Maura across from her had its benefits. They made eye contact and held it until Frost returned with Maura's wine. Thanking him, she swirled the wine in her glass and took a sip. Jane noticed that Maura's eyes were slightly puffy and unusually dark.

Jane's eyes found themselves on Maura's lips, on that fabulously expensive lipstick that Maura wore like it was merely an extension of her supple lips. Her gaze wandered to Maura's blouse and the image of Maura that morning at breakfast entered Jane's mind. The silk pajamas Maura wore as she stood at her kitchen counter revealed noticeably erect nipples. They had been discussing Casey after Maura had pointed out Jane's tell was showing. Jane shook her head in an effort to shake the image from her immediate thoughts. When she looked up she noticed the doctor's eyes on her, a bit of concern evident in them. Jane offered a slight smile.

The conversation went from the case they had closed to their weekend plans. Korsak asked Jane why she wasn't out with Casey, reminding her that they'd looked at movie times in his new car. It wasn't lost on Jane that a pained expression overtook Maura's face at the mention of Casey. It also wasn't lost on Jane that Maura would no longer make eye contact with her. Jane hadn't told Frost and Korsak about Casey's proposal and wasn't going to do so at the Robber. However, she did brush off Korsak's question by saying that she at Colonel Jones didn't have to spend every waking moment together. At that, Maura stood and excused herself, making her way toward the bathroom.

Barry Frost was many things, but most of all he was a man with a good heart who wanted the best for those around him. He gently nudged Jane with his elbow and then stood so she could slide out of the booth to follow Maura. He watched his partner take a deep breath as she stood and made her way to her best friend.

Jane opened the bathroom door and immediately saw Maura blotting her eye makeup in the mirror of the single stall bathroom. No detective skills were necessary to know that Maura was attempting to catch threatening tears and wipe away those that had already escaped. Jane closed the bathroom door behind her, turned the dead bolt and then leaned against the door with her hands behind her at the small of her back. She didn't speak, merely gazed at her broken friend.

When Maura turned to meet Jane's gaze, words needn't be spoken. Jane saw the heartache behind the hazel eyes she had grown so good at reading. Jane saw the anguish as Maura clinched a Kleenex in her right hand. Jane was taken back to the moment earlier when she told Maura what Casey had asked of her. Their eyes had held on one another and for just a brief moment Jane had thought she had seen happiness in those hazel depths—happiness for her best friend. However, that brief moment was buried by the other moments that reflected nothing but disappointment and sadness. Jane tried to convince herself that what she saw in Maura's eyes had nothing to do with their friendship and everything to do with what Maura saw as Casey's shortcomings as a boyfriend. But Jane was no fool. She knew that what she saw in those hazel eyes earlier that day as well right in this moment had everything to do with their friendship and what they mean to each other.

Jane took one step toward Maura, her hand outstretched, palm up. She wanted Maura to take her hand. She wanted to touch Maura, to feel that connection as they worked out what was going on between them. Instead, Maura took one step back. That one step was all it took for Jane's heart to break. She suddenly began to see everything, the least of which why Maura was attempting to keep distance from her. Maura was sad, disappointed, maybe even angry with Jane not because of who Casey was or what their relationship was or wasn't, but because Maura loved Jane.

Jane swallowed hard, the lump in her throat not moving. Her eyes were clouding with unshed tears. She clinched her fists, now lowered to her sides as she looked once again into her best friend's eyes. Tears were now streaming down Maura's cheeks.

In the years that these two women had known each other, they had fought so rarely that forgiveness was never needed. Their biggest fight required one life-threatening injury, an apology and a hug to correct. Forgiveness came unbidden. However, in this moment, Jane wished she knew how to ask for Maura's forgiveness. She would have begged for that forgiveness if given the opportunity. She finally realized that she was an idiot for carrying on the way she had. She had allowed Casey to come and go, leaving her heartbroken, yet relieved each time. She had complained about Maura's dates, but never offered her an alternative. She had flirted unabashedly with her best friend, hell, her only friend, because she knew it could never lead to anything. And here she stood, in the bathroom of a bar; coming to the realization of just how blind she had been all these years. It was Maura. It had always been Maura.

The tall brunette risked another step forward and was surprised to find Maura holding her ground. Their eye contact was never lost. The sadness in Maura's eyes replaced with confusion and something Jane couldn't pinpoint at first. It was hope. Her best friend was hoping that finally the brash detective had figured it out. The detective took another step and reached out her hand again, this time using it to cup Maura's tear-stained cheek. The doctor furrowed her brow at the touch, her eyes closing briefly. As her eyes opened, they were dark and determined. She tilted up her chin slightly to meet Jane as the brunette leaned ever closer.

The doctor's delicate hands reached out to grip the detective's angular hips, anchoring her against the shakiness she was feeling. She found herself anticipating what was to come as the detective closed the gap between them, her lips softly pressing against Maura's.

The doctor let out a breathy gasp, her hands now clinging tightly to Jane's hips. The detective's free hand tangled in the doctor's hair as she pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Their mouths explored one another until they were forced to surface for a breath. Jane pulled back first, looking intently at Maura in hopes of finding something on her friend's face that would confirm everything. When Maura's eyes met hers, they reflected the slight smile that was now evident on the doctor's face.

After pulling themselves together, their foreheads resting against one another, their fingers intertwined, the detective motioned for the door. Words weren't needed for Jane to ask Maura if she wanted to get out of there. The doctor merely smiled and headed for the door. She unlocked the door and allowed the detective to lead her out, her hand on the small of her back.

Maura bypassed their table and made her way for the door. Jane stopped briefly to grab her jacket, explaining to her partner and former partner that they were going to call it a night. Barry Frost smiled at her with those knowing eyes and nodded. As she walked away, she turned back to see his eyes on her. She smiled that sheepish smile that told him she had no idea what she was doing, but that she was going to do it with all her heart. He winked at her and she made her way out of the bar.

Jane caught up with Maura at the entrance to the bar and returned her hand to the small of the doctor's back. She led them out into the fresh air realizing that this is where their friendship had always been leading. Always.

-finis-


	2. Reactions: The Couch

Author's Note: This is the reaction I imagined first. And when I was reading a fic by socks-lost that had in it something that I'd wished I was brilliant enough to write, I realized why I had centered the piece on Maura's couch. It said: "Things make sense on this couch. Terror and trauma and fear and guilt are made small work of on this couch. And she's afraid that if she gets up, when she gets up, things will stop making sense." The truth of that is startling.

Another day, another possible reaction. Thanks for reading, reviewing and welcoming me back with open arms. -dkc

**Reactions**

**Chapter Two – The Couch**

Maura sat on her couch, the television off, a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other. A throw draped her lap as she relaxed in the one place where she felt her problems could melt away. Unfortunately, those problems were more likely to melt away with the help of Jane and tonight her only problem was Jane or, to be more precise, Casey.

There was a soft knock on the door. Maura glanced at the clock, noticing the late hour and then knew when she heard a key begin to turn in the lock that it had to be Jane.

"Hey," the detective said as she opened the door and found the doctor standing near the couch, glass of wine in hand.

"Jane?" Maura's voice held the concern she reserved only for her best friend.

Jane let out the breath she appeared to be holding.

"I had to get out of there."

Maura didn't know what that meant and though she was frustrated by the events of the day, particularly Jane's revelation that Casey had asked her to marry him in a all-or-nothing kind of way, she had always wanted to be Jane's safe place to hide.

"Come in. Beer?" Maura offered, walking around the couch toward the kitchen.

"No," Jane said, stopping Maura in her tracks. "Wine?"

Maura turned to look at Jane, raising an eyebrow of both concern and confusion to which Jane responded by simply rolling her eyes and making her way to the abandoned couch.

"Here," Maura held out the glass to Jane once she returned to the couch.

Jane kicked off her shoes after taking the glass and relaxed into the couch. Maura moved her book from where she had been sitting to the coffee table, sitting down and focusing on Jane whose eyes remained on the book.

"What are you reading?" Jane nodded in the direction of the book.

"Oh!" Maura's eyes lit up. "It's a biography of Lydia Lopokova. She became known as part of Diaghilev's Ballet Russes and eventually came to America to perform in a vaudeville act."

Over her glass of wine, Jane smirked, raised an eyebrow and locked eyes with her adorable friend. She had absolutely no idea what Maura had just told her. She found this happened far more often than it should.

"A ballerina, Jane. And eventually the wife of the economist John Maynard Keynes."

"Ah, a ballerina," Jane smiled. "The only thing better than a ballerina is a dead ballerina."

Jane chuckled, but Maura's smile revealed something Jane knew far too well—knowledge.

"My tell?" Jane shook her head.

"That bit of edge," Maura responded in the affirmative.

"I'm sorry," Jane set her glass of wine on the coffee table and pulled one end of the blanket from Maura to drape over her own legs.

"It's fine. Want to talk about it?" Maura asked, half expecting Jane to shrug it off and bury her feelings.

"Ugh," Jane sighed, tears coming to her eyes. "Am I a bad person?"

"What? Of course not!" Maura was truly shocked.

The doctor placed her own wine glass next to Jane's and quickly reached for one of Jane's hands, offering her whatever reassurance she could muster given the situation. Granted, she may have needed the comforting herself after the bombshell Jane had dropped on her earlier, but Maura was not about to let Jane beat herself up.

"He has been home for two days and I can barely stand to be with him, Maur," Jane admitted, never meeting eye contact with the doctor.

"You aren't used to having to answer to someone, Jane. And the two of you have never spent a considerable amount of time together."

"I answer to you," Jane whispered.

"That's different," Maura swallowed back the emotion that she felt bubbling up.

"Is it terrible that I like my job? That I'm good at my job?" Jane finally met Maura's gaze and saw the turmoil she was feeling reflected back at her.

"No, Jane, it isn't. But I suspect this is about more than the fact that you are a detective, a decorated one at that, and very good at what you do," Maura realized her thumb was tracing patterns over Jane's, but did nothing to stop herself.

"I went with you to the prison," Jane sighed.

"Hmm?" Maura was confused.

"I told him I had to work and yet I went with you to the prison," Jane answered.

Maura let this sink in and the realization was heavy. She hadn't thought twice about Jane accompanying her to pick up Paddy, Sr. Even knowing Casey was in town she didn't think twice about spending time with Jane. This is how their relationship worked; they were inseparable.

"Oh," was all Maura could manage to get out.

"But I wouldn't have had it any other way," Jane squeezed Maura's hand.

"I am a detective, Maura. I am a daughter, a sister, a partner, a friend…" the strength of Jane's voice trailed off. "A best friend."

Maura felt a single tear fall and she mentally kicked herself for allowing her emotion to show in this moment. On this couch they had laughed, cried, trembled and sat in silence, but right now she felt it wrong of her to cry for Jane. Jane did not belong to her, no matter how badly she wished otherwise.

"I should be able to love him, Maura, to want to spend as much time with him as possible. I shouldn't want him to return to Afghanistan. Only a terrible person would want their boyfriend in a war zone over in her kitchen making her breakfast and cleaning out her fridge."

Maura took a deep breath and tried to quell the ache in her stomach that grew with every mention of Casey and what Casey wanted from Jane.

"Feelings are feelings, Jane," Maura sighed. "You can't guilt them away."

Jane looked at her best friend and smiled, a genuine Jane Rizzoli smile that Maura hadn't seen in days. Come to think of it, not since Casey had returned.

"Listen to you, you've been holding out on me all this time haven't you? You say you're only good with people of the dead variety. That sounded awfully wise from Doctor Death," Jane partially teased.

Maura used her free hand to softly smack Jane's shoulder. She hated being called Doctor Death, but when Jane was teasing her, she would put up with almost anything.

"Ouch!" Jane hammed it up.

"Baby," Maura charged, smiling and laughing with Jane.

"Where did you hear that anyway?" Jane's voice took on a more sober tone. "Which philosopher?"

"Television," Maura deadpanned and then both women burst into laughter.

Once the laughter subsided, the two were now sitting closer together. Maura's legs were folded under her as she faced Jane, her elbow propped up on the back of the couch.

"Why can't all relationships be this easy?" Jane said, realizing a bit too late that what she was wondering had reached her lips.

Maura found herself stunned speechless. She had often wondered why her friendship with Jane was the most seamless relationship in her life and why she could never find herself as comfortable with another human being.

"Maybe it's the wine?" Maura posited.

"Why Dr. Isles, was that sarcasm? It's it my job to deflect with sarcasm?" Jane smirked at Maura, looking into her eyes and seeing a gentility there that she could easily lose herself in.

"I'm beginning to see the beauty of using sarcasm as a buffer. Now, if only I could use it successfully on more than a handful of occasions."

"You used it well there, if not perfectly," Jane said.

"You're the strongest relationship I've had in my life, Jane," Maura's honesty was refreshing, though scary.

"I know," Jane whispered, dropping eye contact again.

"What are you thinking?" the doctor reached for Jane's chin and tilted it up so she could see her friend's dark eyes.

"I was thinking about what you said to me about Tommy when I told you I wouldn't stop you if you wanted to, you know, date him," the detective was hesitant and her nerves were showing.

"That I hate it when you hate me?" Maura avoided repeating the weighty things she said that day in Jane's kitchen.

"No," Jane closed her eyes briefly and then looked directly at Maura before swallowing hard and charging ahead. "That you love me and that you wouldn't want to do anything to compromise our friendship."

"I do," Maura was not the hesitant one. "Love you, that is. And I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise what you and I have."

Jane's hand reached for Maura's. She moved it up from her own chin to cheek and held it there, never breaking eye contact with Maura.

"When you looked at me today, Maura, I saw it," Jane's voice was low and raw.

"I'm not going to deflect by asking when or what you saw," Maura was tired of hiding. She knew that when Jane told her what Casey had proposed that her face had to reveal just how upset she was.

"I won't let Casey compromise our friendship, either, Maura," Jane's eyes filled with tears.

"We can't constantly turn our backs on relationships, on potential happiness, because we are afraid that what we have will be compromised and no longer as strong as it has been up until now," Maura's honesty continued to force her into saying things she knew could not be taken back.

"I know, Maur. Over the last two days I was so busy worrying about how Casey wanted to change my work habits, hell, even my apartment, that I didn't stop to see what else he would change," the crack in Jane's voice ended what she was saying.

"Jane…"

Maura had multiple academic degrees and professional accomplishments, yet nothing had prepared her for this moment. She had no idea what would be appropriate here. Instead she simply looked deep into Jane's eyes as if to see their future, a future she hoped would be as fulfilling as their relationship had been up until this point. And then she saw it; Jane's eyes left hers for a split second and traveled to her lips. It didn't take the IQ of a genius to know what this meant.

"Maura…"

Instead of allowing her friend to continue, Maura leaned in and felt smooth lips gently brush against her own. Had she not been feeling it for herself, she may have denied that contact had even been made. It was gentle, airy and yet sensual.

"I love you, too," Jane husked as their lips parted and their eyes met again. "Definitely more than I should while entertaining, well, you know."

Maura's mind was brought back to that jarring moment earlier when Jane looked at her and told her Casey was going back to Afghanistan unless Jane married him. It was natural that Maura would interpret what Jane was saying as rejection.

"Hey, look at me," Jane urged.

The doctor looked up and saw in Jane's eyes something she hadn't seen there in all the time that they had known each other: Affirmation. Maura quickly realized that what Jane was saying was not that she shouldn't be this close to Maura if she was going to be in a relationship with Casey. She was saying that she shouldn't be entertaining a proposal from Casey because, well, Maura. She loved Maura and only Maura. Finally putting the pieces together, a soft smile broke out on the doctor's face.

"There she is," Jane smiled back.

"I know that you were the bigger person and told me that day that you wouldn't stand in the way of a budding romance, but Jane?" Maura paused and waited for Jane to nod at her to continue. "I can't be that person. I can't let you be with anyone else and not at the very least show you the alternative."

Jane's hands came up to encircle Maura's face. That beautiful, dimpled Jane Rizzoli smile was on display once again.

"You don't have to show me, Maur. I already know."

-finis-


	3. Reactions: In the Street

_Author's Note: This particular one shot stems from a .gif set I saw on Tumblr. I can't remember where I saw it, but it was great and served as the inspiration for what I hope is a solid third installment. Are you sick of different takes on how Maura could have reacted to Casey proposing the Jane yet? Thank you all for your great reviews and the lovely welcome back. Was I really only gone for a month? Felt like a lifetime! –dkc_

**Reactions**

**Chapter Three – In the Street**

"Maura?" Jane opened the door to find her best friend standing in the hallway, completely drenched from head to toe.

"Is he here?" Maura looked as if she had been to hell and back and her voice was an extension of that.

"Casey? No, he's at his apartment picking up some things," Jane answered as she waved Maura in. "You're soaked. Can I get you a towel? Would you like to have a shower?"

"No. I'm not staying long," Maura's voice was forceful in the way Jane knew was uncommon.

"What's going on?" the detective was now concerned.

"Did you answer him?" Maura asked.

The detective raised one eyebrow at her friend. She knew what Maura was asking, but she didn't know why Maura had arrived just to ask this. The doctor hadn't taken more than three steps inside the apartment. She was simply standing there, her hands at her sides, dripping on the floor.

"I haven't," Jane said in a defeated tone.

"Why?" Maura was bordering on angry.

"What am I supposed to say, Maura?" Jane ran a hand through her hair.

"To me or to him? To me, the truth. To him? The truth," there was a bite in Maura's tone now and Jane couldn't help but be unnerved by it.

"What is this really about, Maur?" Jane locked eyes with her friend.

"You don't know?" Maura threw the words at her as if they were daggers.

"No, I don't," Jane became defensive.

Maura closed her eyes briefly and steeled herself against the emotions rising within her. She wanted to get this out.

"You know when people talk about the loves of their lives?" Maura looked at the floor.

"Don't tell me Ian is back," Jane said just over a whisper.

"Jane…" Maura caught Jane's line of sight and said it again. "When people talk about the loves of their lives…"

"Okay?" Jane gave in.

"That's you, Jane. For me, that's you."

The reality of what was being said was heavy. Jane sat catatonic for a moment, long enough for Maura to grow frustrated with her friend's lack of response to the most important thing she had ever said to her in the history of their friendship.

"I need to get some air," Maura huffed, blowing out the air in her cheeks and turning swiftly toward the door.

Before Jane could register what was happening, Maura was out the apartment door and well on her way out of the building. Finally the brunette snapped out of the trance, realizing what her best friend, the woman she'd grown to trust with everything, had just said to her. She quickly pulled the door open and went after her.

"Maura!" Jane yelled as she reached the steps of her apartment building and saw Maura about to cross to the other side of the street where her car was parked.

Jane pushed her hair back out of her face as the rain attempted to plaster it over her eyes. She jumped from the top step to the sidewalk in one leap, planting her feet quickly. She hurried to catch up to Maura, reaching the doctor as she was standing in the middle of Jane's street.

"Maura," Jane said again, this time in a softer voice.

The detective reached for the doctor's arm, but was brushed off initially. She grabbed for Maura again, this time tugging Maura around so they were facing each other. Rather than respond, verbally or otherwise, to the question on Maura's face, Jane simply planted her lips on the doctor, kissing her fiercely.

While still standing in the street in the pouring rain, the kiss that rivaled every kiss that had come before it for either woman deepened. Jane's hands were in Maura's messy, sopping hair as their mouths pressed further and further. Maura clung to Jane's hips, pulling her friend tighter to her body.

They were too wrapped up in each other to care that they were standing in the middle of a Boston street in the long overdue rainstorm. They were too wrapped up in each other to notice the only car on the street pulling up and parking alongside Jane's side of the street. They were too wrapped up in each other to notice the lights and engine of the car shut off. They were too wrapped up in each other to hear footsteps. Yet despite whatever had these two women in its grip, they were not too lost in one another to hear the familiar masculine voice with a touch of anger and confusion in it.

"Jane?"

Casey.

_-finis-_


	4. Reactions: Unleashed

_Author's Note: Your reviews have all been well received and I appreciate each and every one of them. A few of you noted the way the last scenario ended. I love how the fandom hates Casey. Perhaps the new show runner will realize how much he is disliked. If not, there is always fanfiction! ;) My latest installment is angst. All angst. It wouldn't be right to not have at least one possible scenario be as such. Rating increases a bit due to adult language. -dkc_

**Reactions**

**Chapter Four – Unleashed**

Jane drove across town from the Dirty Robber to Maura's house, worrying herself sick the entire way. They had agreed to meet at the Robber for their usual Friday night drinks and dinner with Frost, Korsak and Frankie. When Jane arrived and Maura wasn't there, she was surprised to learn from Frost that Maura had gone home after work and told Frost she wouldn't be joining them. The more Jane thought about this, the more concerned she was that Maura told Frost instead of her.

"What's going on?" the detective whispered to herself as she parked her car in front of Maura's house.

"Maura!" Jane yelled as she unlocked Maura's front door and let herself in.

Not seeing her friend right away, she followed the glow of lights and came to the conclusion that Maura must be upstairs.

"Maur!" Jane tried once more.

"I'm coming," came the nonplussed response from the far corner of the house.

Jane climbed the stairs and found Maura coming toward the doorway of her newly decorated yoga room.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked, noting Maura's yoga clothes, messy hair and puffy eyes.

"I was doing a perfect lotus, meditating and drinking a glass of Moscato," Maura answered matter-of-factly.

"Why?" Jane's face was that of complete confusion.

"I thought the light crispness of the Moscato would ward off my morose mood," Maura might as well of had three heads for the way Jane was looking at her.

"That's not…" Jane had to check her growing annoyance with her friend. "Morose?"

"An adjective, meaning ill-tempered."

"I know what it means," Jane was now losing her patience. "Why aren't you at the Robber?"

Sadness and disappointment visited Maura's facial features as the doctor considered in her own thoughts why she hadn't joined her friends at their usual Friday night spot. It had nothing to do with the rest of their friends. It has everything to do with Jane. She couldn't bear to face her after she had revealed to Maura that Casey had asked Jane to marry him. It wasn't simply that Casey had asked Jane to marry him, which bothered the doctor to an extent, but what really got to her was _how_ Casey had asked Jane. How did Jane not see that Casey was being unreasonable by laying out for her only two options—marriage or Afghanistan? It was the worst proposal Maura could imagine. Who does that to a woman they supposedly love?

"I needed a night to myself," Maura asserted, not making eye contact with Jane.

"You only bail on drinks at the Robber if you have a date," the lack of eye contact was noted by the detective.

"That isn't true. I try not to ever _bail_ on our nights at the Robber or our movie nights."

"Maura, what the hell is going on? You haven't said much all week. You have been too busy to grab lunch. You didn't want to go to the gym with me yesterday. And now you don't show at the Robber. Talk to me," Jane wasn't going to let this continue.

Jane's prying was about to unleash every last emotion Maura was feeling and the doctor could feel that eventuality building. She bit her bottom lip, took a deep breath and then locked eyes with the tall detective.

"I'm surprised you noticed," Maura responded without self-censoring.

"What is that supposed to mean? Of course I noticed. You're my best friend!" Jane was now rubbing her thumbs over the knots in the palms of her hands.

"Jane…" Maura knew this conversation could not lead to anything good.

"Tell me what is going on," Jane huffed, leaning back against the doorframe.

"What's going on is I am watching you make a fool of yourself. This is not the woman, the strong, independent, fierce woman that broke through to me and became my best friend. Since when do you let a man define you?" Maura was seething on the inside, but attempting to remain calm on the outside.

"Excuse me? I don't let anyone define me, but me," Jane's defensiveness told Maura that she was closer to the truth than Jane would have liked.

"I wish I could believe that," the doctor stated.

"Why are you doing this, Maur?"

"I wouldn't be much of a best friend if I didn't point out the obvious. It's obvious that you are about to make a decision based on the wants and goals of somebody else without any consideration of your own wants. This isn't you, Jane."

Maura wrapped her arms around her own torso as if to protect herself from the venom she expected from her friend. The truth, the doctor knew, was never easy. In fact, she had long thought that lying would be much easier and she had, for years, lied to herself. However, lying to others was something she could never quite achieve.

"He's a good man," Jane whispered, back to rubbing her hands and avoiding Maura's look.

"I'm sure he is, Jane. But you are good, too. You can't place your future out of your own hands," the doctor looked at Jane and could tell the detective was truly battling the truth of her words.

"Is that really what you think I'm doing?" Jane's voice was stronger, her stare intense.

"I don't know what you're doing because it is completely unlike the woman I have come to know nearly as well as I know myself," Maura's eyes were matching Jane's intensity.

"What would the great Maura Isles do? Assuming a non-sociopathic, decent human being actually asked her to marry him?" Jane seethed.

Whatever control Maura had held on her thoughts, feelings and importantly, words up until now were gone as the sting of Jane's statement hit her full force. She visibly bristled, her eyes with a laser-like focus on the woman before her.

"Don't you dare, Jane Rizzoli!" Maura's words flew out with ease. "Don't you dare treat me like the bad guy. Don't you dare blame me for voicing the truth! I thought that is why you valued my friendship—my honesty. I may not know the usual role of best friend in situations like the one you find yourself in, but I do know that best friends don't treat each other this way."

"Is your problem that someone asked me to marry them, that it is Casey or that you're afraid you'll grow old alone? I'm leaning toward the latter. Tell me I'm wrong because if that is the case, I can't believe the Maura _I know_ would be so selfish," Jane took a step toward Maura if only to enforce the seriousness of her words.

"Fuck you!" Maura's response was startling. "If you want to marry a man who has been content to walk in and out of your life at his convenience, who pushed you away as he made a decision on which is life depended, and who casually tosses his career goals—in a goddamn war zone no less—at you as a reason to get married, then I wish you the best, Jane. But I can't stand by and watch. I simply can't."

Maura, who had been gesturing with her hands and shifting her weight from leg to leg as she spoke, now fell still as she stopped speaking. There were tears in her eyes that she refused to let fall. She would not let Jane see how broken up she was by the proposal.

"Why can't you be happy for me? Why can't you accept that maybe Casey can make me happy?" Jane's voice was angry, cracking with emotion.

"Maybe? Does he or doesn't he make you happy?" Maura took a step closer to the detective, mirroring her action from a moment before.

"Of course he…" Jane hesitated. "We can be happy together."

"No." That one word was unsettling to Jane.

"No? What do you mean, no?" Jane was furiously rubbing her hands again.

"Can be or are, Jane? Does he make you happy? Are you happy?" Maura wasn't letting it go.

"I…" Jane considered lying, but knew her best friend would see right through her. "I don't know."

"That's your answer," Maura's voice had softened and she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch Jane.

"We're together, Maura," Jane couldn't find any energy to put behind her assertion.

"Two people can be together and no longer make each other happy or maybe they never made each other happy. Being together will never be enough, Jane."

The doctor could no longer resist her need to touch Jane. She took another step forward, reaching out to Jane, her hand gently gripping her friend's bicep.

"How did I not see it?" Jane whispered, her amazement evident.

"You weren't allowing yourself to look for it," Maura offered.

"I shouldn't have said those things to you," Jane's eyes dropped to the ground.

"Maybe you were right," Maura shrugged.

"No, I wasn't. I'm sorry, Maur," the tears that had been threatening now started to fall down Jane's cheeks.

"Jane…" Maura sighed, squeezing Jane's arm.

Jane took a few steps backward and slid down the doorframe to the floor. Head in hands, Jane wiped away her tears, ran her hands through her messy hair and took several deep breaths. Maura, unsure of what to do, sat down on the floor in front of Jane.

"What do I do now?" Jane wondered aloud.

"You ask yourself the hard questions," Maura touched Jane's leg that was outstretched next to her.

"Happiness?" Jane asked, tilting her head to the side as she often did.

"Yes," Maura said, scooting closer. "What makes you happy?"

The doctor had placed a hand over one of Jane's. Both women noticed their heart rate increase, both women attempted to avoid considering the implications.

"This," Jane breathed.

Maura smiled, scooting even further to Jane in the space between Jane's long, outstretched legs. Jane's eyes darkened as the inner battle of what all of this meant tore away her focus.

"Jane?" Maura's soft voice caught the detective's attention and her gaze. "Could I make you happy?"

Jane sighed, running a hand through her locks and blinking slowly for a moment.

"What are you asking me?" Jane's voice was sultry, if not tired.

Maura hesitated. For the first time since she lit into Jane about the way she had been behaving, the calculated doctor was afraid of saying the one thing that might change everything.

"I'm asking you to take that leap, the one you and I both know we have been afraid of for years. I'm asking you to open your eyes. I'm asking you to love me, Jane. Because I…" Maura's voice broke as she felt Jane squeeze her hand. "I am pretty sure that I can make you happy."

"You're 'pretty sure'?" Jane smirked. "Did you guess?"

"Shut up," Maura rolled her eyes.

"Come here," Jane's quiet question held with it the meaning of their friendship, their relationship and every undefined look they had shared.

The detective remained with her legs separated and outstretched, her arms open. She waved her friend in. The doctor didn't question it. Perhaps this was part of the leap she was begging Jane to make. She simply scooted her body across the floor until she was settled with her back against Jane, her legs crossed and strong arms wrapped around her waist.

"You've made me happy from the day I met you, Maur," Jane whispered, her mouth just millimeters from Maura's ear.

Maura hands took Jane's as she leaned back further and rested her temple against Jane's cheek. She had been in many situations since she had met Jane that left her wondering what a look meant or what a touch conveyed, but in this moment she had no doubt as to what Jane was telling her.

That leap she had asked Jane to take with her was a leap they had taken years ago, though neither woman had admitted it.

_-finis-_


	5. Reactions: The Real Jane

_Author's Note: I apologize for the delay in getting the next installment of this series up. Writer's block hit me hard this past week. I expect this story will continue for a couple more chapters and then I will move on to something else. This will be the last chapter that will be K. The remainder will jump straight to M. Thank you for your patience and your lovely reviews. -dkc_

**Reactions**

**Chapter Five – The Real Jane**

Maura had tired of stress eating and worrying about Casey's proposal to Jane. At first Maura shrugged it off as an eventuality that was bound to happen in one of their lives. She couldn't possibly expect that both she and Jane would remain single forever. And then Maura's heart began to speak. The cerebral doctor could no longer deny the heartache she felt at the thought of losing Jane.

Without giving it a second thought, the doctor climbed into her car and made her way across town. Arriving outside the detective's apartment, Maura swallowed hard. Maura's nervousness had nothing to do with whether Casey would be there; she knew he wouldn't be. She had been in the car with them when Casey asked Jane if it would be all right if he went out with some military buddies that night. The feeling in her stomach had everything to do with what she might say to Jane.

"Maura?" Jane looked at her startled friend standing on her sidewalk as she exited her apartment to let Jo Friday out.

"Hi, Jane." The doctor was flustered.

"What are you doing here?" Jane was both surprised and seemingly happy.

"I…" Maura had no idea how to answer that question. "I don't know."

Jane tilted her head and smirked at her friend. It was quite unusual for the doctor to admit that she didn't know something. That was cause for concern alone. However, there was a lost look on Maura's face that worried Jane. She hadn't seen this look on Maura's face since Hope had asked for the kidney donation and then said nothing to Maura afterward.

"Come on up," Jane offered, smiling.

The two women entered the apartment, walking into Jane's small kitchen. Maura took a seat on one of the stools she had sat in hundreds of times before. This time felt different. Part of her felt like it might be the last time and that hurt enormously.

"What's up?" Jane asked, reaching across to place a hand over Maura's on the counter.

"Do you ever feel something in your life is shifting, almost as if you were standing on a tectonic plate?" the doctor questioned intently.

"Oh, yes, I'm on tectonic plates regularly," Jane's sarcasm was met by a serious look on Maura's face that told Jane now wasn't the time for kidding. "What's wrong?"

"I just…" Maura closed her eyes briefly. "Your impending engagement has left me contemplative in unexpected ways."

The detective let out a sigh, leaning her tall frame further into the counter. There was a frustration in Jane's features that Maura couldn't read. She didn't know if her friend was frustrated with her or something else.

"What do you think I should do?" Jane asked.

"I can't tell you that," Maura answered quickly, despite having thought of various things her best friend should do over the last several hours.

"Why not? You're my best friend; I respect your opinion. I need it."

Maura shook her head and diverted eye contact. She knew that if she looked into those deep brown eyes she would be lost and there would be no silencing her honesty.

"You don't," Maura whispered. "You need to consider what is best for you, for your family. You need to…" the doctor paused, trying to gather chaotic thoughts. "…Think for yourself."

"Of course I think for myself, Maur!" this pushed a button with the independent woman.

"That's not…" Maura stopped herself. "Jane."

The doctor had no idea how to approach what she knew was a forbidden topic. How does she tell her best friend that she loves her—is _in love_ with her? She had no idea how to tell Jane her perceptions of the way her friend has been behaving since Casey came back into her life.

"Tell me what it is you came here to tell me, Maura. I'm not stupid," Jane read the doctor's mind.

"I know you aren't, Jane. I would never imply otherwise."

"Then tell me."

"What matters to you, Jane?" Maura dropped her gaze to her own lap before returning it to the shoulder seam of the Red Sox t-shirt Jane wore.

"What do you mean? The usual things, I guess. Work, family, friends," Jane shrugged her shoulders

"Name them, one by one," Maura urged.

"My job. Ma. My brothers. You. Frost, Korsak ," Jane's patience was waning already.

"Jane…" Maura wanted Jane to understand how serious this conversation was. "You didn't name Casey."

"Of course he matters, Maura," Jane was all but glaring at the seated doctor.

"But you didn't name him instinctually," the doctor noted.

"What the hell are you getting at, Maur? He matters, okay?" Jane fumed.

"You matter, too. You matter. Your job is part of who you are. Are you going to stop dropping everything when the phone rings? Are you going to stop staying at the station at all hours of the night when you're so close to catching a break? That is who you are," Maura pressed.

"I…" Jane stumbled on her own response. "I don't know."

"Will you stop being the person everyone calls when they're is a crisis? Your mother, your brothers," here Maura paused, tears forming in her eyes. "Me."

"You will always matter to me. You will," Jane's voice softened. Both of her hands covered Maura's on the counter, but the doctor was looking for more than this assurance.

"That's not what I…" Maura pulled her hands back, stood from the stool and braced herself for whatever response might come from Jane after what she was about to say. "You are a strong, brave woman who is dedicated to an important job, a calling. To many, you are a hero. You are a daughter, a sister, a friend. You are my best friend, the only best friend I have ever had. When I think of who you are, I cannot, no matter how hard I try and believe me I have tried, see who you are to Casey."

The doctor stood with her arms wrapped around herself as if shielding her physically for what was to come. She was slightly startled by Jane moving around the counter to stand in front of her. Jane's face was serious, but did not betray her thoughts.

"Say it, Maura. Say you don't think I should say yes," Jane's voice was huskier than normal.

"That's not what I am saying," Maura swallowed hard, taking a step back from her advancing friend.

"You could have fooled me," Jane nearly growled.

"Does he know who you are?" Maura spoke before her mind had time to catch up.

"That I'm sarcastic, stubborn and hardened by what we see every day?" Jane took another step forward.

"No," Maura's voice was barely above a whisper. "Does he know you like I do?"

Jane's eyes burned into Maura's, causing the doctor's heart rate to increase.

"That I'm not nearly as smart as you are? That I sometimes fall asleep before a movie even starts? That I don't like mushrooms on my pizza? That I _love_ being tormented in my sleep?" Maura spotted Jane's tell immediately—the edge was there.

"That an edge appears in your sarcasm, Jane. That you underestimate your intelligence and yet are the smartest person I know because you understand what makes people do the things they do. That you may appear hard on the outside, but are soft with those you love," there was a slight smile on Maura's face as she said the last part.

"Maura…" Jane rolled her eyes.

"No, listen to me." Maura seemed possessed as she continued. "You do not know how amazing you are. You're gorgeous. You're incredibly compassionate. You're both reliable and loyal. But more than these things, you do things that are so uniquely Jane that a person couldn't help but love you. "

At this Jane quirked an eyebrow almost as if daring Maura to elaborate.

"Dammit, Jane!" If Maura didn't have Jane's undivided attention before, she definitely did with the sound of the doctor cursing. "You complain about my fancy coffee and the way I drive, but you are only complaining because it worries you that you find comfort in both. You hate to need people. You like to cuddle, though you'd never admit it. You…" at this the doctor took several steps forward toward the unguarded brunette.

"What are you doing?" Jane was panicking.

"Hold still," Maura said as she reached for Jane's waist, pulling slightly at the waistband of the sweats barely revealing what was underneath. "You wear matching lace under sweats to make you feel more feminine."

The doctor released the waistband and began to take a step back, but was stopped by Jane gripping her wrist. The doctor's surprise was written on her face as she raised an eyebrow at Jane, looking at the hand clutching her wrist.

"Say it," Jane husked.

"You look at me like I'm the only person on earth," Maura whispered, her eyes never leaving Jane's.

Maura stepped forward; surprised that Jane didn't release her wrist at the intrusion. Jane held firm with a look that appeared to be daring Maura.

"Your gaze lasts a bit longer on me; your touch a bit gentler on my arm," Maura looked down at Jane's hand on her and felt Jane's grip slipping down to her elbow.

"It's more than that," Jane's voice cracked. "It's so much more."

Maura's curious eyes were waiting for Jane to find peace with whatever she wanted to say. She knew better than to push too hard. She knew Jane did things in her own time.

"I look at you when I can't find my place. When the horrors of what we see on a daily basis are so real and so scary that I can't catch my breath, I look to you. Your eyes can soothe me just as quickly as our simple touch," Jane sighed. "But ours is never a simple touch, is it?"

The doctor had no idea how to respond. She was right. There was nothing simple about the way they looked at each other, touched each other or loved each other. Their friendship had never been simple.

"You are my constant, Maur. You have always been. No matter how broken I am, no matter how far I fall, it's you that brings me back. You're my touchstone."

There were tears running down Maura's cheeks as she leaned forward, her free hand on Jane's shaky shoulder, Jane's forehead leaning down against her own.

"Don't do it," Maura whispered.

Jane pulled back so she could look in Maura's eyes once again. There was both confusion and realization on Jane's face. Realization of what Maura was asking her, telling her, didn't hit Jane with the weight she would have expected. It was if she already knew.

Mistaking Jane's silence for confusion, Maura continued: "Please don't do this…to us."

Maura's words lit a fire in Jane. She placed her hand on the back of the doctor's neck and pulled her in for a furious kiss. It was neither gentle nor hesitant. The passion eventually slowed as they broke for air, both looking at one another with nothing but love on their faces.

"All I needed was for you to say it," Jane hummed. "You are everything to me. I never believed I could be everything for you."

The smaller woman shook her head as a slight smile broke out on her beautiful face.

"You have always been everything to me."

_-finis-_


	6. Reactions: Waking Up

_Author's Note: Your reviews continue to amaze me. Thank you all! Perhaps when I'm done with installments you all can vote for which version of Maura's reaction to Casey proposing to Jane was your favorite? I have one other scenario in addition to this one that I have been kicking around in my head. It will likely be the last of these. This chapter is rated M. -dkc_

**Reactions**

**Chapter Six – Waking Up**

They hadn't talked about it and maybe it was better that way. Once the shock of Casey's ultimatum wore off, it was as if their lives slowly went back to normal. It had been nearly a week since Jane and told Maura what Casey had proposed. It had been nearly a week since Jane saw the sadness wash over Maura. It had been nearly a week and though she hadn't given Casey an answer, they both knew—Casey and Jane—that what he was offering her was not something she wanted. The only person who didn't seem to know it was Maura. Maura thought she knew Jane and knew what Jane would do, but part of her feared the things she didn't know about her best friend.

"Maura!" Jane bellowed as she opened the back entrance to Maura's house with a stack of boxes in her arms. "There were boxes stacked at your back door. What is all of this…" Jane stopped in her tracks, noticing the dozens of boxes on Maura's dining room table. "Maura!"

"I'm right here, Jane. You don't have to yell," the doctor walked into the room, her hair pulled back, dressed in a satin pink cami and short set, a wine glass in hand. "The FedEx man must have come while I was in the bathtub."

"What the hell is all of this? What's going on?" Jane asked, dropping the boxes on the kitchen island.

"I ordered some things," Maura offered that soft smile that told Jane that everything was not okay, but the doctor didn't want her to worry. It was a smile Jane had seen before and knew better than to ignore.

"Really, what's going on?" Jane raised an eyebrow and did not take her eyes off her friend.

"Jane…" Maura rolled her eyes instead of answering the question.

The detective took several steps toward Maura, taking the wine glass from her hand and placing it on the island. She wanted to take the doctor's hands in her own, but settled for placing her hands lightly on the shorter woman's shoulders instead.

"Talk to me, Maur," Jane urged.

"You haven't told me," Maura hesitated to make eye contact again. "It's been a week and you haven't told me your decision. I thought I...well…I thought I deserved at least that."

"You bought out Zappos because you thought I didn't want to tell you what I had decided about Casey?" Jane's chuckle was not what Maura was expecting.

"Don't mock me," Maura glared at Jane while taking a step back.

"Maura," Jane's raspy voice had in it an amount of seriousness that held the doctor in place. "There was nothing to tell. If there had been, you'd be the first person I told."

Maura looked up at Jane with both confusion and frustration written on her face. She was confused as to how a week had passed and yet no decision was made. That a week had passed and Jane hadn't said anything about the proposal was frustrating, too. The doctor had worried all week about what the decision would be before focusing on why Jane hadn't told her anything.

"It's been a week," the honey-haired woman said, neither accusatory nor demanding.

"I guess that answers it," Jane hung her head, whether in disgust or defeat, Maura wasn't sure.

"I don't understand," the tone of Maura's voice betrayed her emotions.

"If in a week I couldn't make a decision; if in a week I couldn't come to the conclusion that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, isn't that the answer?"

Maura tilted her head, looking at her friend as she considered what Jane was saying. It hadn't occurred to Maura through the week that the reason Jane hadn't said anything about her decision was because Jane couldn't make the decision. She had assumed Jane simply hadn't told her. That Jane hadn't decided to accept Casey's offer was not a possibility Maura had considered.

"Have you told him?" Maura questioned.

"He knows," she said, her brown eyes never leaving those of the doctor.

"How?" Maura wondered.

"If you asked someone to marry you, wouldn't you expect them to have an answer before a week passed?" Jane responded with her own question, knowing even the socially awkward doctor would know the answer.

"If I asked someone to marry me, they'd know the answer the second I asked," Maura smirked.

"See? I shouldn't have needed a week. Shit, I shouldn't have needed any time," Jane shook her head.

Maura took a step forward, reaching out to touch Jane's forearm. The look on the doctor's face was gentle and understanding. It was the look that had calmed Jane on many occasions.

"I'm an idiot," Jane ran a hand through her messy hair.

"You are many things, but you are not that," Maura smiled, her hand running from Jane's forearm, past her elbow and on up to the point on her firm bicep where her t-shirt sleeve covered olive skin.

"You know what I kept thinking about?" Jane mumbled, hoping Maura might not hear her.

"What?" Maura leaned in closer to hear, their bodies now but inches apart.

"When I wake up with you," Jane mumbled again, her eyes downward to avoid the doctor's.

Maura Isles was terrible in social situations. She had horrible timing and rarely read people correctly. However, there was one person she knew almost as well as she knew herself and that was Jane. When Jane mentioned waking up together, Maura knew exactly what she was referring to. She, too, had thought about how unlikely it would be that they might share a bed again. And if they were to never share a bed again, she would never wake up with Jane's face precariously positioned between her breasts, their arms and legs tangled.

"Jane…" Maura breathed. She gripped the brunette's bicep tighter as if willing her to look up.

When Jane's eyes finally met Maura's, the spark that had appeared often between them was in full force. This was Maura's chance and she wasn't going to let it pass. Without an inkling of hesitation, she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her glossed lips to Jane's. The woman who had on many occasions imagined kissing her best friend like this was the first to back off. She pulled away, afraid that she might face the fury of Jane Rizzoli for what she had just done. Instead, when she pulled back she saw pure want on Jane's face.

"Maura," Jane rasped, taking the doctor's face in her hands before kissing her fiercely.

Pushing Maura backward to the island, Jane used one hand to push the boxes away that she had placed there when she arrived. Overwhelmed by the moan Maura let out as Jane pressed her into the counter, Jane's hands wandered down the doctor's toned body. Following the line from her shoulders, down her arms, to her hands and then to her hips, Jane continued to kiss Maura while exploring the soft skin peeking out above the satin waistband of Maura's shorts.

"Waking up with you, that moment, wondering if you felt it, too," Maura's words were stalled by the feeling of Jane's strong hands roaming from the front of her hips around to the doctor's sculpted backside "Ohhh," Maura moaned.

Suddenly Jane's hands firmly gripped toned cheeks and lifted the doctor up to the island. Their lips connected again, somehow managing to remain attached as the small woman was lifted to the counter. Maura's legs wrapped around Jane's back and pulled the brunette closer to her, her navel pressed against Maura's increasingly wet core. Separated by the satin material of Maura's shorts and the barely-there thong underneath, Jane could feel Maura's heat.

Calloused hands slid under satin, moving up soft skin and pausing once reaching protruding ribs. The doctor's nipples were now straining against the camisole, easily revealed in the absence of a bra. As hands that suffered so much continued to make their way higher, thumbs brushing the edges of the doctor's full breasts, Maura's hands tangled in Jane's hair. The kiss was wild and left both women breathless.

"Touch me," the doctor demanded as her lips left Jane's and followed the strong jaw line to the detective's ear.

The doctor moaned loudly as Jane's thumbs pressed into hardened nipples. The detective's mouth found the delicate skin at the base of her friend's neck, loving the taste and smell that was uniquely Maura.

"Jane," Maura growled, gaining the undivided attention of the aroused brunette.

Dilated, dark eyes locked on one another, thumbs stilled and the doctor's nails dug slightly into strong shoulders as she bit her own lip.

"Really touch me," Maura's request was insistent and certain.

A sly smile emerged on Jane's face as her hands skimmed hypersensitive skin on their way to satin shorts. One hand gripped a curvaceous hip as the other teased the waistband of Maura's shorts. The teasing caused the doctor to whimper with need.

"For god's sake!" Maura took matters into her own hands, forcing Jane's hand past her waistband and against soaked lace.

"Jesus, Maur," Jane's mouth clamped on Maura's collarbone as she palmed her lace-covered mound.

The brunette nipped and sucked along the doctor's collarbone, back and forth the width of her chest until she dipped lower to enticing cleavage. Looking up at the doctor, Jane dipped her tongue between voluptuous breasts. The look and the action caused Maura's hips to buck against Jane's hand, needing, wanting more. Jane's mouth found Maura's as her hand proceeded further until it reached the narrowing portion of the lace thong. Slipping the lace aside, Jane's forefinger grazed Maura's slit until it arrived at her dripping entrance and welcoming lips. With her palm up, Jane was able to press her finger up in a come-hither motion to part Maura's lips. The gasping doctor could not prevent her hips from rocking toward Jane's hand. Their kiss halted as Maura moaned at the sensation of the detective's finger finding her throbbing clit.

"When I wake with your head on my chest, your mouth so close to my breasts, I get this wet," Maura whispered.

With that admission, Jane's finger that had been circling Maura's swollen clit abandoned that motion to glide easily into the doctor's entrance. Both women moaned at the sensation, a sensation they'd never shared until now but had both imagined intimately.

"More," Maura moaned, her satin-covered ass sliding easily on the granite counter top thus allowing her to rock steadily into Jane's hand.

"Fuck," Jane groaned as she added another finger to Maura's sopping opening.

Finding the perfect rhythm came naturally for the two as their mouths found one another again. Maura grasped Jane's neck as if her life depended on it and Jane's free hand made its way under Maura's skimpy top to knead desperately at one of the two objects that had so often caught her attention.

"Oh, god," Maura cried, Jane's thrusting escalating her pleasure exponentially.

Jane's hand returned to Maura's hip, using every bit of leverage she could summon with that one hand to reach the deepest, most sensitive places within the gorgeous woman before her.

"Jane, I'm…" Maura began to warn the brunette of her pending orgasm, but couldn't get out the words before her muscles clenched the hand within her and juices flowed freely down the detective's cramping hand and forearm.

The doctor's head tilted back as her body went limp. She used her arms to hold herself upright on the counter, exposing the expanse of her chest and shoulders for Jane's soothing mouth. Jane planted soft kisses from shoulder to shoulder, trailing slightly to that tantalizing place between ample breasts.

"Oh, Maura," Jane hummed against her chest.

Slowly saturated fingers slid out of the doctor, grasping tight to the doctor's left hip, mirroring the right hand on Maura's right hip. Jane's forehead remained pressed to Maura's chest as she listened to the doctor attempt to catch her breath and find her equilibrium.

"Are you okay?" Maura felt Jane clenching a fist, attempting to loosen the spasms of overworked muscles against the doctor's hip.

Looking up at the doctor whose eyes had both love and adoration behind them, Jane could do nothing but smile. There was a naughtiness on the brunette's face that made Maura chuckle.

"Shouldn't I be asking you if you're okay?" Jane smirked and then pressed a soft kiss to Maura's chin.

"I am most certainly okay. Better than okay," Maura's hands grasped both of Jane's, asking with that action for help getting off the counter.

Jane held out her arms to help Maura down and quickly held tight to the doctor when her legs wobbled under the weight of her body. Both women knew precisely why Maura's legs were weak and both women smiled at that thought.

"It seems your legs are as worn out as my arm," Jane smirked.

"Perhaps we need some rest," Maura noted just how much of a height advantage Jane had over her when she wasn't in her standard heels. There was something about this that made Jane all the more attractive to the doctor.

"Rest or sleep?" Jane's eyebrow rose as she wondered about the doctor's motives.

"Whichever means waking up with you."

_-finis-_


	7. Reactions: Loneliness

_Author's Note: Awww! You guys know just the things to say to a girl. If y'all really can't bring yourself to pick a favorite, I totally understand. I'm attached to each of the chapters/reactions myself. Each have their strengths. Here is my final installment. It is angsty, angry and has a happy ending. Maybe this is the one I secretly wish were real the most. Maybe… -dkc_

**Reactions**

**Chapter Seven – Lonely**

Jane had been home for a matter of minutes when her mother called to inform her that Maura was upset. It wasn't a matter of informing Jane; really, it was a matter of accusing her. Little did Angela know Casey had proposed to Jane, Jane had told Maura and Maura had done everything in her power to not lose control until she was home alone. Jane grumbled at her mother, hung up and was then faced with telling Casey that she had to go. Casey gave her that pleading look as if asking her to spend her evening with him and not with her best friend, but Jane knew that if she didn't deal with this now, her mother would not give up.

Driving to Maura's, Jane held the steering wheel so tight that her hands ached. She never should have told Maura about Casey's ultimatum. No, she should have told her. She was her best friend after all. No, what she shouldn't have done was slept with Maura. No, god, not that, either. Of all the things in her life that felt wrong right now, having slept with Maura was not one of them. It was a spontaneous, passion-fueled moment in which they both realized the chemistry between them and acted on it. It was before Casey returned from Afghanistan, but was not yet a distant memory. Driving in her car, Jane found her mind reliving that moment when she touched Maura's bare skin for the first time; the path her lips followed across her friend's abdomen; and, the sexy sounds that escaped Maura as she reached ecstasy. That last memory caused Jane to slam her hand against the steering wheel. What had she done?

Pulling into the small driveway along the backside of Maura's brownstone, Jane took a deep breath and stepped out of her car. She let herself in and immediately heard a loud crash from upstairs. With her long strides, she was standing in Maura's bedroom immediately, worried about what could possibly have happened.

"Maura?" Jane was out of breath as she reached the closet and saw the aftermath of a shoebox avalanche.

The doctor turned from her place on the stepladder revealing her tear-stained face. Jane didn't need to ask. It didn't take a detective of her caliber to put the pieces together—the obsessive rearranging of the closet and the tears—to know that something was very wrong with Maura. And Jane knew exactly what that something was. For the second time in their friendship, Jane had hurt Maura. In this moment, she wished this time it was because she'd shot someone. However, this time was fraught with complicated feelings that Jane didn't know how to address.

"Come down, Maur," Jane sighed, running a hand through her wild hair.

"I need to finish this," Maura's voice was raw and her response curt.

"Come down, Maur. Let's talk about this," Jane clenched her hands.

"There's nothing to talk about, Jane," Maura asserted.

"Jesus, of course there is!" Jane's patience was gone. "We need to talk about this."

Maura turned on the ladder, making and keeping eye contact with Jane for the first time. There was anger in the doctor's eyes that scared Jane. It was an anger that reminded Jane of that moment after she had shot Paddy Doyle and Maura had told her not to touch him.

"_We_ don't need to talk about _anything_," Maura seethed.

"Dammit, Maura," Jane's voice matched the frustration of Maura's as she made her way around the pile of shoe boxes to the foot of the ladder.

Jane stood looking up at Maura, a position she was unaccustomed to given her height advantage over Maura even when the doctor wore five-inch heels. It was impossible to not notice the tight yoga leggings that showed off Maura's curves and the baggy sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder revealing bare, ivory skin.

"Don't look at me like that," Maura was biting her lip.

"I can't help it," Jane looked at her own feet, avoiding the pain she saw in Maura's eyes.

"Right," Maura climbed down the ladder, turning her back to Jane as she busied herself with shoes she could reach from the floor.

"Maur…" Jane's voice dropped as she took a step toward the doctor and reached for her hand.

"Jane, please. I get it, okay?" she said, shrugging off the brunette's hand.

"Get what? Come on, Maur, we have to talk about this," Jane fired back.

The escalating tone of Jane's voice caused the doctor to whirl around. She had to put a stop to this and she knew that the only way to do so was to be completely honest with Jane.

"You were lonely, _we_ were lonely. You love him and you are a good fit. I get it."

"Is that what you think it was for me?" Jane fumed.

"I don't know, Jane. I have no idea what _it_ was for you. It clearly wasn't enough," Maura's voice was raised, her look indignant.

"Don't," Jane's voice cracked. "Don't diminish what you are, what you mean to me."

"I'm simply pointing out the obvious. Whatever I mean to you, whatever being with me meant, it will never mean as much to you as Casey," tears were now falling down well-established streaks on Maura's face.

"That's not true!" Jane surged. "You, Maura, you mean more to me!"

"Bullshit!" Maura spouted with the authority of a woman who actually might use such language on a regular basis.

"Maura," Jane stepped forward, her hands gripping the biceps of the woman before her. "You, Maura. It's you."

The force with which Maura pushed Jane away from her shocked both women. The smaller woman was deceptively strong.

"No! You can't have it both ways, Jane," the furor with which Maura spoke stilled the detective. "You can't use me when you are lonely. You can't need me and have him. You just can't."

Tears that had surfaced were now escaping Jane's eyes. She could no longer look at her best friend because of the hurt she knew she had caused this woman. How had Casey merely asking Jane to marry him created such chaos? The silence was heavy between them as Jane attempted to focus the thoughts that were swirling in her mind.

"What if I don't?" Jane croaked.

"Don't what?" Jane still had the power to surprise and utterly confuse Maura.

"Don't want it both ways," Jane whispered.

Jane's words caused any bit of hope to fall from Maura's face, quickly replaced by disappointment and hurt.

"Then you don't," Maura turned her back to Jane again, reaching for another pair of shoes to rearrange.

"I don't want him, Maura," Jane stepped forward, her hand resting on the back of Maura's elbow, her body a mere inch separated from the back of the woman before her. "I don't want it both ways because I don't want him. I want you."

Maura let out an audible sigh as she leaned back into Jane's body. She didn't turn around, she didn't urge Jane to hold her, she simply leaned against this woman that she had spent a lifetime looking for in both a best friend and, yes, lover.

"I wasn't lonely. I've never been lonely since I met you," Jane whispered.

The smaller woman turned, her face still streaked with tears. Her gentle, small hands cupped Jane's face. She couldn't speak. She couldn't say precisely what she was feeling. These emotions were foreign to Maura. She had never felt completely crushed and then supremely elated all in a matter of moments before. Instead of speaking to the tears that continued to fall, she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to Jane's.

In contrast to their first kiss weeks before, this kiss was gentle and timid where the first was immediately passionate. Jane's hands held Maura's hips as if her friend might break rather than with the ferocity of a woman incensed.

"Do you need help with these shoes?" Jane smiled as the kiss was broken and they simply looked into one another's eyes.

The smile on the doctor's face was replaced by calculation. She shook her head as she reached for Jane's hand, leading the detective around the pile of shoeboxes and out of the closet. Standing near the foot of her bed, Maura slowly lifted her sweatshirt over her head, revealing her unimpeded breasts. Appreciating the sight before her, Jane fought off an ill-timed smirk. Her hands began at curvy hips, grazing soft skin until her thumbs teased the sides of Maura's full breasts.

"Jane," Maura saying her name was a request, not a question.

The brunette quickly pulled her own shirt over her head as Maura's precise hands undid Jane's belt and pants. In her tank top, bra and panties, Jane could no longer contain her desire to get Maura out of her leggings. Pulling both the leggings and thong down Maura's toned legs, Jane stopped to midway to take in the magnitude of what was happening. This wasn't simply sex. This was the beginning of a life together and they both understood that. Without a word spoken, they both agreed that there would be no wedding proposals, no boyfriends, no more casual sex.

"Come here," Maura whispered as if knowing instinctually this moment required special care.

Jane stood, wrapping her arms around Maura's waist. The doctor's arms encircled the detective's neck and both breathed each other in. How long the moment lasted, neither could be certain. It was what they both needed to assure their tender hearts that the heartache they'd felt at the thought of losing each other was fleeting and never to return.

Maura was the first to pull away, using her hands now to remove Jane's tank top and unclasp her bra. They climbed onto the bed together, never more than a few inches apart.

It began slowly, their lovemaking, with soft kisses that eventually deepened and wandering hands that found solace in intimate places. There was nothing rushed this time and though both were passionate in their caresses, there was reverence as they touched.

"Jane?" Maura hummed as they mutually cupped one another rocked into the other's hand.

"Hmm?" Jane moaned against Maura's breasts.

"I want to say this and you don't have to say anything, it's for me," Maura whispered.

This got the brunette's attention as she looked up at her lover, curiosity and concern on her face as she continued to rock her hips into a hand that fit her perfectly.

"You are the love of my life," Maura's words were both light and forthright.

"Oh, Maur," Jane choked on her words.

The passion of their first kiss returned as Jane's lips pressed into Maura's and a finger slipped past her welcoming entrance. Finding a rhythm that was perfect for them came easily this time and they found release simultaneously. The heavy panting, the sheen of sweat was shared. Maura realized how much she enjoyed Jane's face pressed to her breasts as they caught their breath and their hearts returned to a normal pattern. Never had either woman been comfortable with simply being held after reaching climax, but with one another everything was different.

They would make love again before falling into a deep sleep. Waking in each other's arms brought smiles to their faces and a renewed sense of devotion to their friendship washed over them. Eventually Jane would make her way home to tell Casey it was over. Coming to terms with just how blind she had been all along would take longer for the usually astute detective. However, did any of that really matter now? Together nothing else mattered.

_-finis-_


End file.
